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Monthly Archives: January 2006

devil child

Sitting at work yesterday thinking about the problem child and how to be a better mother – this year.  All the opportunities you don’t get in public high school.  Talking to a Czech friend about the things learnt in Czech high school when she was young (35 years ago) – Henry the 8th’s six wives, the history of the Persian Empire, Ghengis Khan, the main exports of Brazil…all the things I bet Mr F won’t have a clue about by the time he shoots out into the world.  So Mr F says, why should I know these things.  I dunno.  Except somehow that the more you know – even about useless stuff – the more you have to build on.  It’s all ‘background’ and grist for ideas.  Or maybe just adds colour  and depth to life – the fact that you have a past, and an environment, and maybe the more past and the more environment, the richer your life can be. 

So how to achieve this for them? Travel, maybe.  Immersion experiences – science camps, bush tucker weekends…movies, books.  Community service activities.  Anything to get away from the x-box.

Hairy Chest is in Nigeria for two weeks – that’ll be a month apart, including my hols.  I think about him aad us a fair bit.  What am I going to do with him?  Does he really love me?  Is this enough?  Even if we loved each other, could I bear a lifetime of no appreciable communication, except on the subject of aches and pains, IT, religion – for the sake of no conflict.  Freedom and a conflict-free relationship is worth a lot but I don’t know that it’s worth that.


NYR for ever

This will be the third year at least in which I’ve made New Year’s Resolutions.  This year is starting well so far – new job, same boyfriend (almost a first!), optimistic outlook.  Last year I kept at least three resolutions – sponsored a kid, volunteered (despite annoying the old lady concerned, I think, so we haven’t been in touch for a while, but anyway I tried!), wrote a fair bit.

This year I’ve decided to perform at least one good deed for each friend and relation.  The difficulty now will be thinking them up.  For instance, I offered to teach my boyfriend to swim on a regular basis. I would like to get my mate Martin to cut his ponytail off and update his dress sense, but think this might be less a good deed and more uninvited interference from the style police.

Also want to lose my paunch – ok it’s a small one but I’ve had it ever since I was a baby and I think now is the time to say goodbye – at least for a week perhaps. And write my book, that is, finish the bloody thing.  Need time off I guess.

I still have to decide whether to stick with G or not.  Not will be difficult.  If I left, it’d be the third or fourth time, and my moral credibility would be shit.  Things toddle along happily, with me thinking, for a man who put so much effort (relatively) into getting me back into bed, you could put a lot more into keeping me there.  But not saying as much, because how to put it..