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my life is about to crash

but if it does, I know I’ll be alright. I still have my hermit idea, which I go back to every time a relationship doesn’t work out.  In this scenario I live in somewhere rural, read books and nobody sees me getting more and more hag like.

My momentary boyfriend..is kind of too good to be true.  Though there are bad bits, not so much with him as with his past.  My past is much worse but I”m concentrating on his sins here, not mine.  In some ways I”m sleeping with superman.  This man is fantastic in bed (not just technically but there’s something about him that turns me into a man-eating beast), a gifted piano player, a brilliant actor (that is he’s appeared on stage and hasn’t been booed off), a writer who gets his stuff into the public arena and gets paid for it – and can turn a phrase – a scientist, a knower of almost everything I don’t know, a raconteur, a party-charmer, someone who isn’t scared to dive in the dark when there are sharks (in other words, an idiot) and is qualified to do so, a linguist who can speak three languages apparently fluently (though I wouldn’t know – maybe he’s faking), and…the list goes on and on.  Plus he has a great line in flattery and appreciation (which could express itself in monetary terms a bit more, but who’s counting), wants to spend all his spare time having sex with me, and likes my kids.

BUT he did leave his wife under a cloud (he had an affair with an evil temptress) and both the wife and the evil temptress are still hanging around. Which wouldn’t bother me so much if he didn’t appear to have a large capacity for guilt ‘I left my family – maybe I should go back?’  NO!!! and a huge sex drive (well I know she’s evil but we bumped into one another at the carpark and one thing led to another and…).  And if he has ONE fault, it’s that he’s patronising.  You can feel that he thinks some other people are inferior to him, and he’s already admitted that he’s often bored by people.  So, if by people, then, soon, by me?  After all I’m a pretty simple organism (and I have cellulite, and don’t know much except how to give a good blow job).

Which reminds me, I reckon people should have a silent indemnity clause which they can put in before everything they say and think, which goes like this ‘there but for the grace of God go I…this is just my opinion it aint fact..and I have too many motes in my own eye to point out my brothers’ sins’.  Silent because it would be a bit weird if you said it.

About turnipsforbreakfast

Rose has two blogs, www.butimbeautiful.wordpress.com, and www.turnipsforbreakfast.wordpress.com. Enjoy!

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