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Hot as..a cucumber

Seriously funny.  Someone I used to know had (in his youth) occasional long dry spells during which female charms were conspicuously absent. In other words, he couldn’t get a leg over. To address this issue, my friend went and bought a series of cucumbers, which he hollowed out and used as receptacles for his pent-up passion.  This all worked just fine..until –

He found himself getting hard-ons in the fruit markets while passing the cucumber trays.

At this point, he decided to give up his addiction to green vegetables.

Which brings me to wonder – if, in order to stave off premature ejaculation, a guy regularly thinks of, say, his male boss, or his grandma – could he perhaps find himself getting aroused next time he gets called into the office for a performance chat, or sitting down with nan for a cup of tea?  So, just a word of warning – be careful what you get erotically attached to, it could be embarrassing.


Withacknowledgements to

About butimbeautiful

Rose has two blogs,, and Enjoy!

4 responses »

  1. Well I think cucumbers could be a little bit on the tight side, at least for this persons equipment, and anyway variety is the spice of life… So personally I think there is a wide variety of vegetable pleasures to be samples… And why waste the contents of the items either, you can always save them up and make soup or something with them, and even use the cucumber skin, stuffed perhaps with savoury mince, then baked in the oven… Voila, stuffed cucumber (with perhaps white sauce)…

    A tasty thought for all you budding cooks and vegetable masturbators…

    The Mystery Man (who loves his vegetables)

  2. Vegetable abuse is not a joke. There is many a green grocer’s son who has had to learn this the (pardon) hard way. However, as long as equal attention is being given to all the vegetables in the garden, there should be no need for worrying about jealous tomatoes trying to choke you to death. At least this has been my experience. Tend your garden well, and she’ll bring you countless pleasures for many summers (pardon) to come.


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