This is not a blog about my internet dating adventures. I don’t HAVE internet dating adventures. I blog. It’s one or the other.
HOWEVER I do have a dilemma I’d like someone out there to help me with.
A tall goodlooking stranger on a dating site sends me a Kiss.
I reply with the site-scripted version of “Sure, whatever”.
He replies with an email. He sounds like a reasonably nice guy, nothing amazing in the brains department, but he can spell.
I look down at the bottom of the email and see his name is Hank. And he lives in X. And he works at Y. And I think, hmmm. This sounds an awful lot like a friend of my best mate who’s a mad keen proselytising Christian and is waging a war to the death on body hair. The guy who invited my (male) mate round for a beer and then offered to show him his nipple rings and scrotum waxing equipment.
So I ask my friend, and guess what, it’s the SAME guy. So what do I do now? Bearing in mind that because of the Karmic Challenge, I gotta be NICE!
Do I say ‘I’m sorry for the inconvenience and expense but I can already tell you’re not the one. Best wishes for the future.”
“You ever heard the story of Rapunzel? Well, I’m just like her, only when my prince says ‘Let down your hair’, I just take my underpants off.”
“I’m a militant atheist, I hope you’re down with that. Richard Dawkins is my hero! Yesterday I put the Bible down the toilet, by the way – cost me a fortune in plumber’s fees but it was worth it just to see that bunny BOIL!”