I’ve noticed in my travels here on WordPress that there are lots of people who have sailed their frail boats onto the snarly rocks of love and are being smashed up against them as we speak. The following is, I hope, a cheerful story about Old and New, and how what seems like the end of all one’s hopes can sometimes be the beginning of something SO much better!
Once upon a time, a Princess met a Prince and was dazzled by his mastery of all things musical, scientific and linguistic. He could play a grand piano, for God’s sake, AND he wasn’t too bad looking, considering.
They fell madly in love, but cracks soon began to appear. The Prince began to drop hints that, although his love was true, his other bits were keen for a little wander about the playgrounds of the boring little city in which they both live. The Princess smiled to herself and said, yeah right, in his dreams (thinking that advancing age would probably put a bit of a spanner in the works).
That is, until he turned up weeping one night to confess that yes, he had sinned, and with someone young and gorgeous (and not only that, but with a number of ladies of more doubtful charms and mature years). Well, the Princess told him never to darken the doorstep again, naturally – but within two weeks he was back, protesting that it had all been a misunderstanding and promising that he’d never do it again.
Not, at least, until the next time, when the Princess found out the hard way that the Prince had been seeing another lady on the side for the last year. This time the storm was bigger, fiercer – and yet, the Prince declared that his love for her was undying, the other was but a fleeting interest, he would attend – and pay for – counselling, and..they struggled on.
Six months later, the Princess was aghast (not really) to discover that the Prince was STILL having it off with the Other Woman. AT that point, she threw him over for good and has since refused to enter into further correspondence on the matter.
But now the Princess was without a Prince. So she went to the shop and picked out a nice new one, who appeared to have none of the faults of the older model. She took him home and has been enjoying his many delightful and convenient attributes ever since.
For instance –
The Old Model bought ‘virtual flowers’ for Valentine’s Day. The New Model buys REAL flowers and lots of them.
The Old Model whinged constantly about his depression. The NEW model doesn’t HAVE depression. Or whinge.
The Old Model was getting a bit droopy in the masculinity department. The NEW model is, well, simply magnificent.
The Old Model never had anything for the Princess to eat for breakfast, at his place. The NEW Model buys her favourite cereal and grape juice drink!
The Old Model had, so he said, a Huge Brain – but couldn’t fix a tap to save himself. The New Model has a very adequate brain and can fix ANYTHING – including hearts.
In fact, you don’t realise how crappy the old model is until you get a new model. Then everything becomes clear and you think – why did I wait so long! Rush out and buy one now! (and put the other one in the recycling, he’ll be useful for spare parts if nothing else).