Right now I’m not dating anyone, or trying to. I’m writing.
But SOON – I’ll be done with my book, for now, and then I’ll want a man.
And THEN I’ll have a problem. Which is:
How do I say ‘I’m not interested in seeing you again’ in a way that makes the guy feel less like the rejected novel on the slush pile?
Because I know how crappy it can feel when you’re internet dating and one of these things happen:
- You’re emailing a guy, and he’s emailing you, and then suddenly – he stops. What did I say??
- You send a guy a ‘kiss’ and he sends you back an auto-reply ‘Thanks but no’. If it’s one in every ten that’s fine, if it’s nine in every ten, you’re like ‘What’s wrong with me then?’ and ‘Couldn’t you just, like, ignore me instead of hitting the auto-reply?’.
- You meet up with a guy, and you get on alright, and he says he’d like to meet you again, so you email him and…nothing.
- You meet up with a guy, and you THINK you get on alright, and he doesn’t say he’d like to meet you again.
- You ask a guy if he’d like to meet up again, and he says no.
So the super-confident person, when any of these things happen, just quotes something out of He’s Just Not That Into You like ‘I’m simply magnificent and you obviously weren’t the right person to see how truly scrumptious I am – worse luck YOU!’.
But the not-so-confident person, after a string of these rejections, starts to think ‘What kind of loser am I? Doesn’t ANYONE like me?’
Do as you would be done by. So I want to leave the guys I don’t happen to want, with a feeling of ‘Hey she doesn’t want to go out with me but I’m a hot, sexy, charming man and the right babe is probably sitting there at her computer this very moment having wet dreams about my warmth and intellect!’
But HOW?? Guys, help me here. Only a MAN knows how a man feels – so tell me, how do you like your rejections? What’s the best one you’ve ever had? How can I leave you feeling sweet?