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Free Write Friday – the Spooky Edition!!!

It’s Kellie Elmore’s Free Write Friday and here is the Prompt.

And HERE is the story.

IT WAS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT!

Nay, I lie. For it was, forsooth, about eight in the evening.  I lay abed in that place where the Sick are Healed and Many of the Healed get Sick (ie, hospital).  And I was great with child.

Takest thou this pill,  my physician adjured me.  For the monster within you comes not forth betimes, and winter is coming!

I took the physician’s nostrum, and some four hours hence, there came a great flood upon the waters, and pains upon my belly, and I called to the sisters of mercy who attended me there.

The monster moves! He comes!  Take me to the birthing chamber where I may thrust him forth into the eternal struggle that is the fate of all who live!

The sisters took me up, and conveyed me to the chamber of birthing, where I lay, calling upon the spirits of my ancestors and all the Gods that knew me not, to release me from this foul agony which had gripped my weak and feeble woman’s body.  And I awaited the coming of the monstrous one!

It was not to be.  The demon’s head would not pass forth from the gates of my delicate cervix, and though the physician called upon her greatest powers, the only part of him that she might seize was a lock of night dark hair (or it could have been blonde.  It was a long time ago).

Struggled she with the demon for thirteen turns of the clock! Then, wiping the bloody sweat from her brow as she crouched between my straining thighs, she turned towards me and said:

The hour is late.  Thy doom approacheth.  You must choose – either I cut thy body open to release this dread creature upon the instant, or thou and he must perish upon the medicated tiles!

Draw your sword, said I, and strike, for my strength is failing, and I care no more!

And she gave to me a strong sleeping draught, probably milk of the poppy, and did draw her shining sword, and with one mighty stroke she released the monster from within my straining belly – and handed it to its Father, waiting there upon the battlements.

Wouldst thou look upon this creature thou has borne? asked the doctor, trembling.

NAY, quoth I, for I had been through horrid torment, and was sore afraid, and somewhat depressed also.

But upon the fair afternoon of Friday 13th, I did screw up my courage and look upon the monster, and saw that it was a beauteous babe, and fair to behold beyond all other babes (and so have I always maintained, ever since that day, though other mothers may not always have agreed upon the matter).

And I named the babe Mr F, and ever since have celebrated this most happy of days with merriment and thanksgiving!  For it is his birthday!

About turnipsforbreakfast

Rose has two blogs, www.butimbeautiful.wordpress.com, and www.turnipsforbreakfast.wordpress.com. Enjoy!

12 responses »

  1. You had me giggling all the way through this piece, Rose!

    Reply
  2. Rose, Loved this spooky birthing tale 🙂 as a fellow 13th baby my mother shared your pain, though I was not born by sword, but instead with much cursing and pain. Really enjoyed this game of thrones description of birth, if only my coming had been so dramatic. Instead I couldn’t wait to get out and came almost two months early. You have a real talent Rose, had a good laugh 🙂

    Reply
  3. It’s NEVER too late to write for FWF! You can even write for past editions anytime as well! =) I love surprises! This is PERFECT! Humor, fright, creepiness, and the language… awesome! “Draw your sword, said I, and strike, for my strength is failing, and I care no more!” LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
    Thanks for writing!!!

    Reply
  4. Are you SURE you’ve never worked at a Renaissance Faire? This was awesome! Perfection in language and inflection!
    Fie! Thou art an author of great and noble works, frightening tho they be for the lay-folk among us!

    Reply
  5. whiteladyinthehood

    Wow – you simply amaze me. I could feel the pain just reading this and still laughed at parts!

    Reply
  6. That was GREAT! And Happy Birthday to your son! 🙂

    Reply

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