I’m parking and there’s this chick looking at me, late model, gold hubcaps, polished curves like you wouldn’t believe. So I slink into the spot, maximum cool, wheels turned just so, mirrors catching her eye in the morning sun. I’m just, like, hanging.
She’s parked just opposite. We double take in each other’s rear vision. Man she has a nice butt. Hope she notices the central locking, slick click as Him Inside jams the remote. Maybe she’ll go for the anti-theft system. I can make a lot of noise when I want to, babe, I can really party.
Him Inside disappears and we’re alone, the sun already beginning to beat on my hood. I feel real hot. But inside I’m going to stay cool. I’ve got those windscreen shades, see.
Her brake lights wink at me. It looks like a come on. I’d come on alright, if only I had those damn keys in my ignition, I’d bump her ass. She knows I’m stuck where I am. It’s look but don’t touch, always. The old problem. You look, you like, but you pass them by. Unless of course you score a hit, but then there are so many fucking bystanders and cops around there’s no way you’re going to get it on. I need some privacy.
And then it happens. Like a dream she moves slowly backwards, curvy little ass and all, out of her spot, and sashays up towards me, across the black tarmac. I can hardly believe my lights. She’s coming, she’s coming…quick look in the mirror, did I wax recently, sure I did…and I smell like Vanilla Heaven. Went to the carwash yesterday, no flies on me.
Come on baby come on. I’m ready for you, my bumpers are waiting yeah. And like the sweet little machine she is, she backs right up and comes to rest, nice and cosy up against my front, and there we are.
Hey honey you feel good, steel against steel, rear lights to headlights, paint to paint.
Yeah she says, my brakes are all off baby, how about you and me do a little accelerating..
And I think, this is my lucky day!