The other day I got a free android tablet in the post. Welcome to the 21st century, Rose!!!
I was pretty impressed by this little shiny black thing that pings when you touch it. BUT –
I got to thinking, how much MORE impressed would I be, if I could have an android sex robot sent to me in the post instead! (or as well, even!)?
Would I like a sex robot? Hell yeah! I don’t mean a sort of plastic shop dummy thing with a big dick that says ‘I love you baby’ when you squeeze its rubber balls. No. I mean the next generation of sex robots, the kind that look and talk and feel like a real man, only they’re not a real man. For instance, when you turn them on (I’m talking buttons, not lingerie) they tune in to your mood and know straight away if you want a little romancin’, a little hard luvin’, or you just want the house cleaned up or the dogs walked. Also, with this mind- reading app, they will also know if you like whatever it is they’re doing to you (or for you) and whether you want it right a little, left a little, harder, slower, or taken to the dry-cleaners – without you even saying a word!
With this man-robot, you will never be wrong. He’ll give you all the information you need, and then support your decision one hundred percent. He’ll never say I told you so. When you take him to a party, you can set him on Flirt, Cling, Socialise or Life Of. When you’re busy, you can stand him in the closet. He also does your tax for you.
Some women will probably say at this point, yeah, but I want a real man, with his own opinions, his own life, his own delightful, unpredictable, annoying personality! Really? Some men will say, isn’t this just as sexist as wanting a blow-up doll for Christmas instead of a real woman? To those men I say – yes it is. But if people could easily buy sex/ companion/romance/friend) robots – would the REAL versions stand a chance?
Cause don’t we all just want a perfect match?