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The Right Words

What’s the right thing to say when a guy goes limp?

You have GOT to be kidding!

Looks like the battery’s run out.  Time to throw the toyboy away!

I’ll take Viagra with that. No, wait, that’s you isn’t it?

No I promise I’ve NEVER said any of those things.  Instead I always say things like,

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” and, “Oh well, maybe later then.”

Let me tell you a short story.  Woman meets man.  Woman goes out with man for some weeks, and they eye each other up greedily.  HOWEVER, Man says he doesn’t want to jump into bed too soon.  Woman thinks, ahhh, how sensitive! (and ‘come ON though, my uterus is aching.  Isn’t this sort of thing supposed to cause blood clots?’).  On the sixth date (is that a magic number)  Man and Woman end up in bed.  At the crucial moment, Woman pauses to seek advice about protection.  Man suddenly loses it.  Woman acts casual, kind and unconcerned – but to no avail.  Man disappears, never to be seen again.

So what IS the right thing for a woman to say when a man finds himself unable to do his thing?

More importantly, what’s the right thing for the MAN to say.  Here are some suggestions.

No need to look at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire – oops, I looked!

Sorry, the mind is willing but the flesh wants to get the hell out of here!

Looks like I’m just not that into you.

Nah, just joking.

About butimbeautiful

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15 responses »

  1. It’s a terrible shame: I can’t imagine what I’d say or do. It must be awfully embarrassing. I moan like hell about the opposite problem: maybe I should count my blessings!

    • The opposite problem? Being…you can’t keep a good man down? I actually don’t think it’s that embarrassing if no one’s embarrassed. If everyone just shrugs and goes, oh well, better luck another time, it doesn’t matter. But there seems to be absolutely nothing the woman can say that makes a guy feel relaxed about it – unless he’s the type of guy that just does anyway.


      • Can’t keep him down and he has a habit of popping up at awkward moments.
        As to what you could say to make Mr Embarrassed feel better: “I love to suck limp dicks.”?

      • If someone said that to you “I love to suck..” would you believe her? My experience is that once a man’s down, no amount of expert oral attention is going to wake him up, because he’s too focused on the erection – to be or not to be. You have to somehow change the focus. But then, I’m not a man, I wouldn’t know how it feels. Women can get the same thing – but it’s not quite so obvious, and easily fixed with a tube of lube.


      • That would be embarrassing, I can see that. What do you do – wear constrictive undies?

      • Oral would always get me going. I can’t really comment on how Mr. Embarrassed would fare.
        I couldn’t cope with restrictive undies. I have a number of tactics: hand in pocket, sit close to desk, cross legs, hide somewhere, stop worrying and just flaunt it.

      • So Mick, are you under 40? cause this guy is 54 and apparently only has sex when drunk. I think age is a factor.


      • I turned 54 in April this year.

      • Really? Well I eat my words then!


  2. Key part of your example … it was the first time for that couple. That’s a tragedy for the man right there. I’m guessing some men — it wouldn’t matter what the woman says.

  3. Some men lack the self confidence to handle this situation and are embarrassed. It has happened to me. Here is what I do, I get the woman off orally and many times it revives and we still end up having sex. A lot of women have had sex with men and they don’t get off due to the man’s self centerdness. I am not that guy

  4. whiteladyinthehood

    Yeah, I was going to say what KingMidet said, Because it was the FIRST time in bed – he was probably to embarrassed to keep persuing you.

    • Me? Who said anything about ME???? Just kidding – yes it was me. He was too embarrassed, yes. And I didn’t bother because I thought he had too many downsides (the droop not being one of them).



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