There once was this woman called Jane
Had her eye on a hippy – called Shane.
They made out, like, twice,
And it was so nice,
She wanted to do it again.
Only thing was, she liked him so much,
It was doing weird things to her brain.
Yeah right, said the voice in her head – you dumb punk,
What the hell makes you think you can pull such a spunk?
When you are some plain looking weird writer chick
And hippie boy’s got such a magnificent, I mean his personality is so fully sick!
Maybe it’s just cause you’re a half decent fuck….
And THEN he invites her to his house – what luck!
But hang on – says brain – does he REALLY want her to come?
Nah probably not, says the brain – which was dumb.
But in its defence, she didn’t have his address,
So she couldn’t have visited Shane – least, unless
He told her. But he didn’t, which just goes to show
Says her brain – he didn’t really want her to go.
So she stayed home – but then, as the voices died down,
Jane thought, you have stepped in the shit now, you clown.
If you try to explain, you’ll sound like a kook,
There’s nothing you can say to get off this hook!
Your mum always said it was wrong to be rude,
And now you’ve been horribly rude to the dude,
And for what? Cause you got in a stupid old mood!
Cause he didn’t say ditto when you said he’s sweet,
And he thinks that you’re falling in head over feet,
And you aren’t! That takes time, but in the meanwhile
You’re a little bit crazy for this guy and his style.
Yeah but hey – this is only some shit in a text!
Sure but Jane is a writer -so she’s easily vexed,
She can sit on a pile of words till she’s hexed!
Anyways, the thing is, what it matters to say,
Is that Jane likes HB and wants him to stay
Around long enough so she knows who he is,
And she doesn’t get into this sort of a tizz,
Which is caused – to be clear – cause she thinks way too much,
And she’s scared, and embarrassed, and lustful, and such
And they all mix around in a horrible stew!
But hey hazel-eyed hippie, I do really dig you!
Author’s note: but not scarily dig. Just like, dig.