RSS Feed

Tag Archives: sex advice

The Right Words

What’s the right thing to say when a guy goes limp?

You have GOT to be kidding!

Looks like the battery’s run out.  Time to throw the toyboy away!

I’ll take Viagra with that. No, wait, that’s you isn’t it?

No I promise I’ve NEVER said any of those things.  Instead I always say things like,

“Don’t worry, it’s fine.” and, “Oh well, maybe later then.”

Let me tell you a short story.  Woman meets man.  Woman goes out with man for some weeks, and they eye each other up greedily.  HOWEVER, Man says he doesn’t want to jump into bed too soon.  Woman thinks, ahhh, how sensitive! (and ‘come ON though, my uterus is aching.  Isn’t this sort of thing supposed to cause blood clots?’).  On the sixth date (is that a magic number)  Man and Woman end up in bed.  At the crucial moment, Woman pauses to seek advice about protection.  Man suddenly loses it.  Woman acts casual, kind and unconcerned – but to no avail.  Man disappears, never to be seen again.

So what IS the right thing for a woman to say when a man finds himself unable to do his thing?

More importantly, what’s the right thing for the MAN to say.  Here are some suggestions.

No need to look at the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire – oops, I looked!

Sorry, the mind is willing but the flesh wants to get the hell out of here!

Looks like I’m just not that into you.

Nah, just joking.